So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
