apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
