As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize