Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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