I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize