My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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