I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
