I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
