NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
