he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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