Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
