Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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