Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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