I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
