they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
