i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
