I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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