Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
