Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
