What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize