I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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