I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
