Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He felt like a one man threesome
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
