I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
