Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
