I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
