So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
