We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
