Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
is that a dick in a sweater?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
