he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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