What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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