You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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