Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
