operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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