i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
