i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
