Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
