People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
