Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
