So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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