she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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