dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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