I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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