I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
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She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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