There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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