You just made me feel so damn special
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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