Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
