Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
