Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
