Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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