My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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