thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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