someone get that fucking seahorse.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
