Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
