Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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