You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
