My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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