i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
