he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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