I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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