using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
